Here are some fillers pulled off the internet for those restless moments when nothing else seems to work…

Visual Humor Quiz

      man 

   ————              = man overboard
board      

                                        

     stand
————        = I understand

        i  

             

                                           

     

  road                  = cross road
a

    d


cycle
cycle                 = tricycle
cycle 

          0
————        = two degrees below zero

       M.D.
      Ph.D.    


        knee
————           = neon light

        light

   

          ground
—————      = six feet underground

feet feet feet feet feet feet

     ecnalg                  = backward glance

     death ….. life     = life after death

English is a Difficult Language

Ask your student to read these sentences aloud. If failure to get every one right doesn’t discourage him or her,  it will at least acknowledge the difficulty they may be having with English usage.

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm is used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse
4) We must polish the Polish  furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

The Value of Writing Clearly

The following are reputed to be actual statements found on insurance claim forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest possible words. Ask your student to try to untangle these twisted tales and say them more clearly.

  • The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before I hit him.
  • I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother in law and headed over the embankment.
  • In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
  • I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
  • I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me      to have an accident and damage my big end.
  • An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and vanished.
  • I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull.
  • I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
  • The pedestrian had no idea which direction to run. So I ran over him.
  • I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
  • I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
  • The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out the way when I struck the front end.
  • The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
  • I knocked over a man, he admitted it was his fault as he’d been knocked over before.