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More Puns

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to  the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the  Grass.’

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst kind.

They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a type-O.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

How about the guy who lost his job at the orange juice factory because he couldn’t concentrate?

And there was the inspector who lost her job at the m&m factory because she kept rejecting all the w&w’s.

Broken pencils are really pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? The saurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

All the toilets in New York ‘s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

Punny Jokes For Boys

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JOKES FOR BOYS…

They say that enjoying puns is a sign of intelligence. I certainly think so. That goes for other kinds of jokes as well. Over the years I’ve collected a number of cute and clever stories. After sorting through my collection of personal favorites heard over the grapevine and over the internet I offer you the following puns, gags and stories as a rewarding way to, at the very least, get your boy reading. You might want to pick out the ones you think appropriate to your child’s interest and reading level. This is a good way to teach that playing with words can be fun.

Q: What’s brown and sticky?

A: A stick

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine .

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

I thought I saw an eye – doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian 
She was only a whiskey-maker , but he loved her still.  

A rubber – band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. 

 A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for  littering. 
 Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 

A chicken on one side of the road calling to a chicken on the other side: “How do I get to the other side?”

Reply: “You’re already on the other side.”

 

How about the HS graduation in where the principal announces that all the students in the 12th grade have graduated except Richard. The classmates start to chant: “Give Richard another chance.” The principal agrees and asks Richard, “How much is 9+4?” Richard concentrates, counts his fingers. Takes off his socks to count his toes and finally says, “13”. The classmates chant, “Give Richard another chance.”

How I learned to mind my own business I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, “13….13….13.” The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a knot hole in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on…somebody poked me in the eye with a stick! Then they all started shouting “14….14….14.”

 An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit, “You come to the front door of the apartment building. There is a big panel with buttons by the door. With your elbow you push number 3. I will buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3. When you get off, go to the door with number 301. Then, with your elbow, hit my doorbell.

”Grandma, that sounds easy,” the grandson says, “but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?”

“What, you come to see your gramma empty handed?”

 

A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rod and reel for her grandson`s birthday. She doesn`t know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The sales clerk is wearing dark sunglasses.

The lady says, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?”

He says, “Ma`am, I`m completely blind; but if you`ll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.”

She doesn`t believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, “That`s a six-foot graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB Test line. It`s a good all around combination; and it`s on sale this week for only $20.00.”

She says, “It`s amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I`ll take it!” As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. “Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,” he says.

She bends down to pick it up and accidentally breaks wind. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she, who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn`t know that she was the only person around.

The man rings up the sale and says, “That`ll be $34.50 please.” The woman is totally confused by this and asks, “Didn`t you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?”

He replies, “Yes, Ma`am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.”

 

A man stops in to see his family doctor.

Dr: What seems to be the problem, Harold?

Harold: I’ve been thinking I’m a moth, lately.

Dr: That’s not something I can help you with. You should see a psychiatrist.

Harold: Actually, I was on my way to see one when I saw the light in your office.

 

A chicken walked into the children’s section of the library, went up to the librarian and said, “Book, book, book” (said in chicken ‘bawk’ sounds). So librarian gave her a book.

Then the chicken  went out the door and returned with the book a few minutes later. She dropped the book in front of the librarian and said, “Book, book, book.” So, the librarian gave her another book. A few minutes later the chicken returned with the book and asked for another, “Book, book. Book.” This time, after giving the chicken another book, the librarian decided to follow her outside to see what was going on.

She followed the chicken to a little pond behind the library where the chicken laid the book on a rock. A frog came out of the pond, looked at the book and said, “Read it. Read it.” (Frog croak sound)

Wise Guy Answers

It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline.”Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked John. “What are my choices?” John asked.  “Yes or no,” she replied.

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”  The stock boy replied, “No ma’am, they’re dead.”

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.  “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” the cop said. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.” When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads, “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”

 The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street (pronounced Peek-A-Boo) is not just an athlete….she is now a nurse currently working at the Intensive Care Unit of a large metropolitan hospital. She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones. It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say, “Picabo, ICU.”

1.Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”

3. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A beer please, and one for the road.”

4. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

5. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

6. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

7. I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a mussel.

8. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

9. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says “Dam!”.

10. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

11. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him “Juan.” Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,”They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal.”

MY JOBS

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned. I couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef,  figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at coffee house, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”

 Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

 These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist cross town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to “persuade” them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he’d be back if they didn’t close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that: Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

 With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry La Prise, the man who wrote “The Hokey Pokey”, died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

English is a Crazy language

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Once in a while some thing comes floating out of the ethernet, not unlike jokes that appear out of nowhere. The following is an example of that phenomenon to which I claim no authorship but which I use in my college writing classes as a change-of-pace exercise that you may find helpful with your student.

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm is used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse
4) We must polish the Polish  furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the En glish speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ‘UP.’
    It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
     We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special. A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
    We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP. When it doesn’t rain for awhile, things dry UP.
    One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP, so……..it is time to shut UP! Now it’s UP to you what you do with this description before you get fed up.

Grampa Time

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Here’s a story about not wishing away time but savoring every moment.

Wind driven snow twisted like smoky ropes across the snow-covered lake tangling Josh’s legs. His toes had finally stopped hurting. Now, they felt like carp mouth – the way his mouth felt when he got a shot at the dentist. His fingers weren’t numb yet. They still tingled and burned with cold. C’mon fish, give me a little nibble, he wished. Make all this pain worthwhile. The tiny pink bobber floated, unmoving, in the six inch hole in the ice.

“Daaad,” Josh called. “I’m cold. I’m bored. Let’s go home.”

“Last night you couldn’t wait to get out here. Now you can’t wait to get back. Get into Grandpa time.”

“Grandpa time,” Josh grumbled. A year ago, a week before Christmas, when his grandfather was dying, Josh had mentioned to his father, “I can’t wait for Christmas. I wish it were here right now.”

“Put yourself in Grandpa’s place,” his father had said. “Stuck in bed. Hanging on, day by day. What would he give to live a week as a ten year old, to be able to play, to run, to breathe easily? Don’t wish away time, son.”

Josh jigged his rod up and down. Something pulled. He tugged. Nothing. Hand over hand, he pulled his line onto the ice till his tear-drop hook appeared in the hole. Seaweed. He had hooked into a weed. Shoot, he thought. Now I have to take off my gloves, get all cold, just to put on more bait and it wasn’t even a nibble.

Grandpa time. What would Grandpa do if he were here?

Notice. Watch for small things. Use his imagination.

Josh stared at the pearly-pink tear-drop lure, the gold hook, the bright green leaf. A Christmas ornament of colors. It was winter all around him – white, cold, gray. Yet from the bottom of this black, wet hole came green – spring green.

What would it be like down there, Grandpa? How would I look to a fish through the ice hole? Would I look all small and round and far away, the way people look through a peep hole in a door? Is that why it’s called a ‘fish eye’?

What if I were a fish in a frozen lake, hanging out in a weedbed with a school of bluegills? It’s probably dark down there, or at least gloomy. The ice must be like a glass ceiling, frosted glass, with snow on top. Dark, light. Dark, light. Someone turns off the light every night. And every so often, there are footsteps, followed by loud, scraping sounds, circling sounds. Light pours in through a round hole. Then food floats down – wax worms, mousies, spikes, sometimes minnows. Some of the food dances up and down, like it was on a string. Other food hangs very still, tempting snacks. Every once in a while a fish zooms up into the light.What if you could talk to the other fish? What would you say about disappearing buddies?

A door slammed Josh out of his day dreams. He turned to see a man stretching his back outside his shanty. 

“Any luck?” Josh called.

“Nope. Saw a big pike, but I missed him.”

“Can I come inside, see what it’s like?”

“Sure. C’mon in. Warm yourself up.”

It took a minute for Josh’s eyes to adjust to the light. Then he made out a hole in the ice, a big square of water like a television set lying on the floor tuned to a seaweed movie. The fisherman held a spear, five wickedly sharp blue points on the end of a yellow broom handle, waiting for a pike to come on the screen.

Josh’s toes fizzed with warmth. His father called.

“An eagle, Josh. There’s an eagle.”

Josh stumbled outside. The sun had come out, glaring off the snow, blinding him momentarily. A bird yelped high above, gliding in soft circles.

“A bald eagle,” his dad explained. “Someone said there was a nest nearby.”

“Wow, that’s the first time I ever saw a live eagle.” The wind stopped. Josh could feel his toes again. He unzipped his snowmobile suit, took off his gloves. “Wow,” he said again, as he watched the silhouette swoop behind a stand of pines.

He checked his bait. Still there, untouched. Nobody home.

“Looks like we got skunked, son.” Josh’s dad reeled in his line. “What do you say we head out?”

Josh looked up, his face registering disappointment. “Do we have to? I was just starting to have a good time.”

Drake House Study Guide

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After reading Tales From the Drake House Outhouse you and your student should find this study guide helpfulDrake House Study Guide.

Which story is an essay

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The following are two stories that have a lot in common. However one of them is a narrative essay by virtue of having a thesis/point/moral. Ask your student to decide which  of the two is an essay. You might also ask him/her to pick out sensory words scattered throughout the stories.

 

Guns and Fun

 

            I wanted a b-b gun so bad when I was nine years old. The kind my cousin Vince had — a Winchester model like in the cowboy movies. One day we went to visit his family on the west side of town. Vince wasn’t home at the time. But I knew where he kept his gun. I barely kissed my aunt Connie before running down in the basement. I pulled out his gun, aimed at a bare light bulb on the ceiling and shot. I was really surprised when the bulb shattered. I guess I thought the b-b would just go through the bulb like it did through paper targets.

            The noise of falling glass brought all the adults down to the basement. There I stood with the smoking gun. I was mostly embarrassed that I had been rude, had used my cousin’s gun without asking him, and couldn’t figure out that a bulb would break if you shot it. But mostly I was excited thinking of all the other experiments I could conduct finding out what happens when other things are shot.

            I got my Christmas wish. My friend Kenny and I spent the rest of our holiday break in my attic shooting at various targets pinned on a box of old clothes. We must have shot 500 b-bs into that box. My Mom later gave the box full of clothes to Goodwill. I wonder what the person thought when they went to put on a sweater and b-bs rolled all over the floor. We experimented with other targets.  Don’t shoot at a stack of screens. You’ll have mosquitoes in your room next summer. Apples aren’t any fun. But plastic airplane models hung on a string dance like crazy when shot by ground artillery.

            But after a while we got tired of shooting at still targets. So we put on our coats, opened the back window in the attic and looked for moving targets.  Like Mr. Jack’s cats. We didn’t much like him. He was all the time hollering at us and wiping his runny nose on his sleeve. Sure enough, one of his cats was sunning itself on top of a black roofed garage across the alley. The rancher was about to shoot the cattle-eating mountain lion. I could see the b-b curve through the air and land about five feet from the cat. Then Kenny shot and the b-b landed closer. This time the cat looked up. I shot. The cat stretched and yawned. He looked around trying to find what had disturbed his nice nap. Ken’s turn. He must have got it right because the cat yowled, jumped off the roof and ran behind a garbage can. Now we were really excited. On the prowl for other game. Little wrens flitted back and forth across the yard. Perfect. We shot and we shot and we shot till our noses got blue with cold and my Mom yelled about the cold air coming into the house. We shot all that winter after school and on Saturdays.

            One Spring day, I put some crackers on the roof of the garage. More birds than usual came by and I shot and shot and shot. And then it happened. I nailed a fat little wren. It flopped over. Fluttered its wings. Rolled off the roof and fell to the ground. I was stunned. I didn’t think I would ever hit one, let alone kill it. I went outside and knelt next to the little bird. I felt bad. I started to tell myself or God or someone that I didn’t mean it. That it was an accident. I had been playing Sylvester and Tweety bird, see. I didn’t realize this would happen, that I would feel this way. But I had been shooting for months. It was hardly an accident. Strangely, I couldn’t bring myself to touch the bird. I got a shovel. Dug a small hole. Lifted the bird with the shovel and buried it. Then I put the shovel away. Then I put the gun away.


Wrens, Turkeys and Rabbits

 

            The fat wren tipped over. Fluttered its wings. Rolled off the roof and fell to the ground. I was stunned. I hadn’t thought I would ever hit one, let alone kill it. I knelt next to the little bird. I felt bad, started to tell myself or God or someone that I didn’t mean it. That it was an accident. I hadn’t realized that this would happen. Why did I feel so bad?

When you live on the east side of Detroit in an Italian neighborhood, you didn’t see much wildlife. And yet, years later, when I saw a movie about a Bushman of the Kalahari praying to an animal he had just killed, I knew what he was feeling when he apologized to his victim for taking its life. Only I didn’t have any good reason for killing that bird and I felt terrible. Strangely, I couldn’t bring myself to touch the bird. It was part of another world. The world of wild things. I got a shovel. Dug a small hole. Lifted the bird with the shovel and buried it. Then I put the shovel away. Then I put the gun away.

Killing the bird wasn’t the same as shooting at Mr. Jack’s cats. His cats were fun to shoot at. They were as grouchy as he was and just wanted to be left alone to sun themselves on the black tar roof just across the alley from my upstairs attic window. Invariably, it would take a few shots to get the range since the B-Bs had a curved trajectory over that distance. Eventually a shot would land on the roof next to cat,­ just enough to get it to raise it’s head and look around for the source of the disturbance. The next shot would score and the cat would leap from the roof in one bound, gone for the rest of the day.

            See, that’s what I was trying to do with the birds. Tweak them. Not kill them.

            It wasn’t that I had never seen animals killed. Like the time when the Italo-American club had a Thanksgiving Day raffle. The big wheel with nails stuck around the outer edge clicked slower and slower until it landed, with a breath jarring tick on my number. People shouted for my Grampa who was playing pinochle in the back room. He was proud of me that night. He told me that he had never won anything in his life and now I had won something for him. I still can still see him walking ahead of me on the way home, his tweed suit collar turned up against the cold, his floppy golf hat slouched over one ear and the turkey tucked under his arm looking back at me. The turkey stayed in the coal bin for a week until, in a matter of fact way, Grampa twisted its neck. Gramma dunked the carcass in boiling water and pulled off all the feathers singeing the tiny small ones over the gas stove leaving the smell of burnt hair in the cellar. The turkey, my turkey, looked so beautiful and golden brown for Thanksgiving dinner and I had made it all possible.

            I had seen animals killed. I had shot rabbits, hunting with my uncles. Why was I so squeamish about touching that tiny wren? Why did I feel so bad about killing it?

            Rabbits. It was always my job to skin and dress them after a long day in the field. Gramma would open the door to the back porch and remind me to put the backs in one pile so she could marinate them in her special garlic-tomato sauce. That’s what the difference was. I was helping us eat.

Drake House Outhouse Follow up

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After reading my Middle Reader novel, Tales From the Drake House Outhouse, your student would find this pictorial review an interesting and challenging follow up exercise.

DHOH PP

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